By Alyssa Deutschmann
MSW, LGSW; MA, BCBA – CenterLife Counseling
With April being Autism Awareness month, it’s a good time to reflect on how communication impacts the mental health of children with autism because at its core autism is a language and communication disorder, and so traditional talk therapy may not work for these children. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a therapy for children with autism that I have preferred for the past 10 years. It is a type of behavior therapy commonly used for children with autism that emphasizes the influence environment has on behavior. In this approach, we change how different parts of an environment are presented to the child.
Communication forms a foundation in getting wants and needs met for any child. What one says is that when a child with autism does not get their wants and needs met, this can result in mental health concerns that come out in behaviors.
I have learned by training and experience that there is a close relationship between the triangle of mental health, behavior and communication. That is why, after getting my master’s degree in Professional Behavior Analysis, I needed the training to address mental health and so I got a second master’s degree, this time in Social Work. I needed to be able to work with all three sides of the triangle to be most effective.
ABA therapy works to help improve the mental health of the child with autism in the same way that we might help a flower to grow when we add soil, water more, water less, change the soil, put it in a bigger pot or move it from shade to sun. We change the environment around the flower, not change the flower itself and then we wait and see what happens for the flower.
In the same way we do not try to change the child with autism. We change what is happening in their environment and in doing so, we help them.
Helping your child with autism is realizing that you are an important part of your child’s environment. You can change your own behavior and see what changes that creates in your child’s behavior. This means I can change such things as the words I use, the pacing of activity and speech, and my mood. I remember that I cannot and should not change everything at once.
There are innumerable ways to change your child’s environment to help them. Below are some ways we can change our parental behavior to influence a child’s mental health.
- *Place a neutral activity between a fun activity and a not so fun activity to make the transition easier. It can be hard to go from an exciting experience to a boring experience in a short amount of time.
- *Get rid of the word ‘but’ from your vocabulary. The word ‘but’ usually comes between a compliment and a disapproval. To the other person, ‘but’ cancels the warm feeling gained from the compliment and replaces it with a sour mood that can linger.
- *Do something you enjoy with your hands that has a set beginning and end. Sew a pillow, rearrange a shelf, do that scrapbook, make a tie blanket; working with your hands can relieve the mind. Doing work with your hands can show kids how to see tasks through from start to finish and gives them a sense of accomplishment.
- *Try ending every negative thing you say with a positive thing about the situation that made you frustrated/angry. This can counter negative thinking and is huge in showing kids how to problem solve by seeing both sides of the picture.
- *Offer up choices only if you are willing to accept either choice. Otherwise just give the instruction as a statement. It creates an unfair situation for the person making the choice if one option is not really an option and can result in feelings of resentment.
- *Changing wording when communicating can open up chances for learning by lowering people’s defenses. All the best information is not going to get through to our child with autism if they are on guard when it’s presented to them.
Just like in helping a plant to thrive, we change the environment rather than trying to change the person. Our child with autism with their defenses lowered can experience real learning.
The best time to seek therapy is before a crisis occurs or before stressors become too much. People exercise regularly to reduce the risk of their bodies going into crisis with weight, pain or health issues in general. The same can be said of the mental health of a child with autism. Thoughts, feelings and behaviors are less likely to go into crisis with regular upkeep and practices such as therapy. Then they can bloom as wonderfully as the plants in a garden.
